You’re probably wondering about the confessions that the title of these articles promise. OK. I’ll get right to it. I am an asshole. A take charge natural leader type A personality mother fucker. Emphasis on the mother fucker. I expect others to perform with the same level of commitment as I have and when they don’t, it burns my blood. I never like having to smooth my approach for people with sensitive personalities. These are not good traits to have when everyone is working for you on a voluntary basis. The good part, in my view, is that I get shit done. I’ll get that movie made with or without you. The level of drive and commitment I have seems to be lost on most people I’ve worked with creatively. Not to say they don’t recognize my assholedness, they just can’t keep it up as long as I can. One big push is about all they can take. It’s always been that way for me but up until the last few years I didn’t understand why. I always seemed to be at a loss as to how to quantify my motives. When you’ve worked so hard to reach that first step towards the next level, it makes no sense to be satisfied with that tiny accomplishment and stop. That’s the time to push even harder! The first step is the most difficult because you’re generally working in a vacuum until there’s something to show. That’s when the connections and all the other resources that have come your way need to be capitalized upon. Faster laps I have a great love for mechanical beauty, especially motorcycles. Not your run of the mill coffee shop cruiser/over sized scooter. No. My passion is for bleeding edge high performance machines that are focused on handling and speed. I recently gave up riding on the public streets because the level of riding that I wished to do was just not safe on the roads. In June of this year, I did my first track day at the Mid Ohio sports course. Being able to push my riding skills to the limit was a liberating experience. But I always knew it would be. This type of sport bike riding goes well beyond the realm of your casual motorcycle ride. It demands unwavering attention and complete awareness of your senses because your life is in your hands. What appeals to me most about this is the fact that I am in complete control of this machine and what it does while I’m aboard, good or bad, is up to me. Trying to put in a fast lap can, and often does, result in a crash. After every session your skills get sharper, the laps get faster and when you come off the track without wrecking, there’s an overwhelming sense of accomplishment. I didn’t wreck, went relatively fast, improved my skills, and it was all my own doing. Creative projects like film making, are collaborative efforts. Performing well without wrecking is not within your complete control. It’s impossible to do it all yourself if you want to take it to the next level. If you want to go faster. Mad skills This past summer, Derek asked me to fill in as camera man for the final few shots needed to complete his movie Broken. The cast of Broken are of very high caliber and are a pleasure to work with. During that shoot it was obvious to everyone how efficient and smooth things were going. In fact, the consensus was that we should all work together on a another project. The reason it was so much easier than the past experiences was because we had all done this so many times before. Derek had directed his cast and pretty much completed Broken and I had done Above Ground. After that many laps, your skills are really honed. Derek and I knew how to light and block a scene and prep the technical side while the cast knew how the process went and could better prepare themselves. We were able to provide a working environment that let them give wonderful performances and they knew what we needed to make it work for the camera. All this supports the obvious fact that film making is more about skill than talent. After this much skill development, why wouldn’t you continue to create? After the pain in the ass months of developing a streamlined working relationship, why quit? Why not go back out and strive for that faster lap? Validation In May of 2006, Terry and I were invited to a “free comic book day” convention at an upscale art gallery in Port Huron. We were to screen our little movie, have a film makers Q&A, and try to sell some merchandise. The real kicker was that we would be sharing our screening room with none other than Tom Sullivan. Tom is one of the co-creators of the original Evil Dead movie which has become an archetype for do it your self film makers. Tom provided the art work and make up effects for the film and most famously, the Book of the Dead prop. Tom was extremely gracious and personable, watching our movie trailer and asking us about the production. Tom approached me and asked, “Have you ever seen Within the Woods?” I fought to keep my composure. After all, here’s a guy that is pretty much a legend to me. “Yeah, I saw a bad internet copy once.” Then he said something that spun my head right around. “I have a copy on DVD with me. Would you mind showing it after your movie?” Would I mind? Jesus, a year ago I could have only dreamed of screening my movie for Tom Sullivan along side “Within the Woods”. My brain was screaming “FUCK YES!!” but I remained cool and calmly said, “Sure, no problem.” The significance of this is because when Terry and I began hashing out script ideas for our first film, we decided that instead of trying to make an Evil Dead epic, what we needed to do is to make this first movie our Within the Woods. For those who don’t know, Within the Woods was a short movie that Sam Raimi and crew shot on super 8 film as a skill demonstrator to raise money for a real movie. Evil Dead was that real movie. Now here we were, after a long road of pain and sweat, screening our Within the Woods for one of the creators of the original Within the Woods. Talk about surreal. Tom sat in his chair and quietly watched Above Ground as I stood outside the room wringing my hands and pacing back and forth. To say I was nervous would be a huge understatement. When it was over, Tom walked by me and all I could say was “Man, you don’t know how hard it is to have you watch our movie.” Tom smiled and said, “If that’s your first movie, you’ve got nothing to worry about. It wasn’t bad at all.” I knew Above Ground wouldn’t win any awards and that maybe it was at least watch-able, but to have Tom Sullivan say it didn’t suck was the greatest validation I could have hoped for. For a moment I thought of getting an official quote from Tom for the web site. You know, something like, Tom Sullivan says: “It didn’t suck.” My better judgment kicked in and I decided not to ask, saving myself from looking too much like a fan boy. As with every public screening of Above Ground, there was no shortage of people shaking our hands and telling us they’d like to be involved in our next project. Everyone from stereotypical fan boys to real industry professionals with impressive resumes. All this has led me to conclude that a decent completed movie with a good looking DVD cover gives you some major credibility as a filmmaker. Not because the movie may have been good but because it’s a complete and presentable package. After that show, I began to evaluate the resources that had come our way since the completion of Above Ground. The list was pretty good. Enough to take things to the next level on whatever project we would do next. There is no spoon Terry McDonnell is one hard working dude. In all of my past creative collaborations I have never met anyone with his work ethic. No matter how hard I pushed, Terry was right there, pushing just as hard. Because of the hardships we shared making this movie, he will forever be my blood brother. A few days into the making of Above Ground at the cottage location in June of 2004, we were deep into the physical and mental self torture that defined that month. In the early morning hours, at the conclusion of filming for the night, Terry and I would have a private debriefing session over a few cigarettes. We used this time to evaluate our progress and to plan the next days shooting. We would also prep the gear and props for coming scenes. At that time I was making extensive use of the steadicam camera stabilizer for many shots. The steadicam’s LCD monitor is powered by a proprietary battery that uses an unregulated charger. This meant that it had to be manually unplugged when the charge time had elapsed or else risk damage to the battery and possibly a fire. I had plugged it in earlier in preparation for the next day. When we completed our debriefing, we were more than ready for a few hours of sleep. We made our way to bed and I was out like a light. I still don’t know what subconscious process woke me up but something made me realize that I had forgot to unplug the steadicam battery. I stumbled into the hallway and to my surprise, encountered Terry, looking much the same as I felt. I can’t remember what came out of my mouth, something like: “battery, forgot still charging”. Terry looked at me smiling and said something that seemed so appropriate. “Dude, there is no spoon.” If there is one significant difference between us, it’s the fact that Terry is NOT an asshole. He can easily smooth his approach to people with sensitive personalities and is much more diplomatic than I. Our working relationship is the stuff most people can only dream of. We developed a short hand of communication that bordered on telepathy. All this made us a formidable film making team. At the end of last year everything looked to be going along as planned. Above Ground was successfully completed and the resources need to make the next movie, the REAL movie, were rolling in. But something changed. Unfortunately as of this writing, Terry is no longer actively involved in Conniption Studios or the next film project I’ve begun working on. We had no argument, no creative differences, no fall out of any kind. His new, very demanding job has taken its toll on his free time and there looks to be no end in sight. The harsh demands of life creep in at the most inopportune times and this time is no exception. For now, I’ll just pick up the pieces and continue on as best I can. For now, There is no spoon.
Confessions of a No Budget Filmmaker Part 2
Monday, October 2, 2006
Part 2 HOME STORY TRAILER ABOUT US PURCHASE CONTACT NEWS LINKS PHOTOS A day at the races?